The genesis of creation is the “point of pain” ….when the pain leads in creating a new possibility and finds OUR OWN new path !
The greatest gift for a human being is “self expression” on what we like and what we want to do…!!
The greatest pain of any human being is “not expressing” on what we like and what we want to do …!!
Where is our life…? To which side of the balance our life goes “expressing or resisting expressing”…. Even when we know that we can express ….but we don’t express because of “lack of courage or living others life of imitation” and choose to be in pain… in-spite of knowing expressing is joy and healthy !!…that is perfectly humane in nature !!
The meaning of “legendary” in Cambridge dictionary is “Remarkable enough to be famous; very well known”…
My dear friend, I am unique and I cannot imitate anyone, Even with the best of my efforts to imitate my results are futile and I cannot imitate one….Instead, I strive to polish my own uniqueness, be grateful for my own originality and discover myself continuously to bring out the best with in me and I drop the admiration I seek……which is the my pathway to be a legend and to live a legendary life.!!
My dear friend, In 2018, Wishing everyone of you.., to shine and be “Remarkable enough to be famous“..in every aspect of your life fulfilling your dreams !!
Where is time …
……..to do my important things ?
……..to spend time with dear one ?
……..to pursue my dream ?
………who holds my time ?
……..where is my time ?….the time which I cannot hold myself…who holds my time ?! …. does someone hold my time ?! ..then what is time ?!….
……..Is it a phenomena ? or is it a place holder ….? if it is a place holder … what it holds ??… what it can hold really …? Where is it really ?!
…….What is really left in life ? Where my life is held ? and where my life exists ?!
I had a dream to do something what I wanted !
I had a dream to do big things !
I had a dream to contribute for a larger section of society !
I had a dream to create my own exciting life !
…………. looking back, i am a prisoner of my own comparative life…!! get indulged in admiration ! wanted something very fancy …. hope I will dust it off all the comparisons and fancy stuff to breathe something very fresh !!
While I was listening to audio speeches of werner erhard yesterday, he quoted some poems of E E cummings, which made me curious to explore some of the E E cummings quotes with you, which might inspire you..
“We do not believe in ourselves until someone reveals that deep inside us something is valuable, worth listening to, worthy of our trust, sacred to our touch. Once we believe in ourselves we can risk curiosity, wonder, spontaneous delight or any experience that reveals the human spirit.”
― E.E. Cummings
“Whenever you think or you believe or you know, you’re a lot of other people: but the moment you feel, you’re nobody-but-yourself.”
― E.E. Cummings
Paradoxically…we get more attracted some
…food when we are on fasting !
…sweet when we are diabetic or controlling food !
…irritation / anger …when we want to be calm..!
and if we closely observe…it is a game of resistance within our selves….and this creates more stress than anything else …!
what if I am in situation of eating, drinking, dancing, loving, without anger….at ease….it is a bliss…. but HOW ?
What makes the leadership shine ?
Some of us might come cross situations, that we demand or let go certain things happen in a way that we want … in spite of knowing that it is not the right decision but we want it !! (For so many reasons, it could be for satisfying someone, because of our ego, it could be our own fear that we want to limit us and so on….) and afterwards we regret internally…and this is some thing leaders truly differentiate themselves…
Leaders just do uncomfortable things (overcoming their own ego, uncompromising with others, respecting others and so on…) but things which matter to the situation and it is right !!
It is a question that keeps coming very often…the other person is not able to understand whatever the efforts I make to understand….and all my efforts go in vain…what to do !?…
What if ..if the other person is not understanding or not making efforts willfully/not willfully ..but not with an intention to hurt you…but with an intention of doing right things in their own way…
what do we call that …?! I am OK and you are OK…!!
This series of communication blogs is get an awareness about the basics of communication, this awareness could help us to have conversations that create a new world in our relationship, performance in the job, in what we want to do and so on..
In the previous blog, I mentioned how Searle classified various speech act, and in this blog, we will see the “direction of fit” in our conversations… there are 3 kinds of direction possible..
Let us see how the direction of fit plays a key role in the classification of acts
|Act Type||Example sentence||Direction of fit||S=speaker; X=situation|
|Representative||My wife is not good at cooking||Make words fit the world||S complains/believes X (wife is not good at cooking as TRUE )|
|Directive||Please pass the book||Make the world fit word||S wants X to be done (Already existing world book is made to pass)|
|Commissive||I commit to solve this problem||Make the world fit words||S intends X
Speaker himself/herself is committed to some action
|Expressive||Hurray, we won the match||Make words fit the world||S feels X
Expressing some feelings
|Declaration||I baptize you in the name of the father
You are promoted as Manager
I forgive/accept you
|Words change the world||S causes X|
(I found a blog… which may be quite useful …
we will explore in the next blog…!!!
All the speech acts happens in a certain context: Depending upon the speech context, the meaning changes, so context is decisive.
A speech act is an utterance that serves a function in communication. We perform speech acts when we offer an apology, greeting, request, complaint, invitation, compliment, or refusal. A speech act might contain just one word, as in “Sorry!” to perform an apology, or several words or sentences: “I’m sorry I forgot your birthday. I just let it slip my mind.” Speech acts include real-life interactions and require not only knowledge of the language but also appropriate use of that language within a given culture…. http://carla.umn.edu/speechacts/definition.html
What is most interesting is the utterance of words alone is not creating the meaning…the background [ CONTEXT ] gives the meaning !!..so I am looking from the performance point of view…how does this matter ?
Who has the context ?….the initiator or the receiver…both…
we might have come across people who uses excellent vocabulary..but their utterance does not make an impact…because the context of initiator and receiver are completely different !.. so what is most important to achieve the performance ?……managing the context in which people take action impacts to a large extent…
that is why language is not only words, it is combination of so many things which include culture, circumstance, peoples need and so on..the combination of which is a context…and becomes one of the source of performance …!! in terms of relationship, work, health, entertainment…
This blog is sequel to the above blog
Moving to Step 2 in the above diagram…
Customer (Requester) : Is the customer is committed to his / her request ? if the requester is not clear with the intention or with what he/she wants to accomplish.. in the requesting stage itself there is a negative impact of performance !! (Example: Requesting for going to a movie together !!)
Performer(Responder): It the performer is capable enough or the right person to accomplish the request ?! (If no there is a negative impact on performance)
Action: what is the expected result here ?
Conditions of satisfaction : Mutually both have to come to terms on perform the action, satisfying both of them (Very critical), here if one of them is not satisfied, it becomes a force … we might often experience this in every day life like children getting ready to school or spending together time for the same activity etc.,
Time frame: Being very specific, when we are vague like tomorrow we can do…it is not specific, tomorrow what time…
While the above details about list of attributes a requester need to fulfill, a conversational speech which is the source of performance (producing results or initiating actions) comes to different forms or acts, called as acts of speech, classified into these categories..!
1. Declarations – Change the circumstance of reality. Example couple is declared as married. Declarations must be made under valid conditions, so that what people with authority say is always respected and anything that gets in its way is eliminated.
2. Commitment – Commit the speaker to future actions (example – promises). Should be given when grounds can be supplied on request.
3. Assertions – Commit the speaker to the truth of an expression.
4. Directives (such as requests, commands, and advice) cause the listener to follow a requested action, should be well articulated, with clear and complete conditions of satisfaction, and entail the commitment of the customer to make assessments as a customer.
5. Expression – Convey a speaker attitude or emotion !!
— when we talk about conversation that produce results, when we make a request, look at if the above elements of request is adhered, what kind of impact it will have on the performance? certainly there will be positive impact on the performance.
— what about listening – do we pay attention to the above elements of requests ? if we pay attention to the above elements of listening? what kind of impact it will have on the performance in listening ?!.. Look at relationship, what kind of impact it will have on the relationship ?
………..More about the conversations that produce results in the next blog…!
It is a bit of research on Conversations, digging into researches done by F.Flores who formulated “Conversations for Actions”, eliciting the model of conversation, which will help us to be aware of the basic elements of “conversations” which produce results…and all other conversations considered to be NOT spoken. These models are widely adapted in performance coaching and as well as designing of workflow systems in computers. I will bring out few blogs on this which will be helpful to empower our lives…
In this article …let us look at the basic model of “Conversations for Actions” ..
for those who are interested to explore more..follow the link for basic information…or let us meet in the next blog
Where does “creativity” exists?it is a bit skewed question…!!
We think sometimes we are not creative, someone else is creative? So does creativity exists within us? Or any other human beings? It looks like so…But a closer look…reveals…opportunity for creativity exists in
“Differences….differences of thoughts, actions, views”
“Not achieving desired results”
“Unreachable goals, desires, materials, goods”
In reality do we encourage difference of thoughts, views, and actions; do we take a closer at the missing piece of the failures..?! What do we like?!
We wait for miracles to happen in life,
We search for the miracles happened in this universe!
We look at others miraculous life!!
When do we present to our miraculous life…
Proudly acknowledging ourselves….
All it just takes a conscious breath to be present our miraculous life …!!
TODAY REALLY IS A DAY FOR MIRACLES. AND IT’S NOTHING THAT I’M GOING TO DO. IT’S THAT I’VE REALLY GOTTEN TO KNOW YOU. MAN, I REALLY KNOW YOU! AND I AM ABSOLUTELY COMPLETELY AND TOTALLY BLOWN AWAY BY WHO YOU ARE. I AM SO DEEPLY AND COMPLETELY IN LOVE WITH YOU THAT IT’S PUT ME INTO A SPACE OF ECSTASY, AND IT’S ALL I WANT TO DO IS TO SHARE THAT EXPERIENCE WITH YOU TODAY – Werner Erhard
“Anyone can achieve their fullest potential, who we are might be predetermined, but the path we follow is always of our own choosing. We should never allow our fears or the expectations of others to set the frontiers of our destiny. Your destiny can’t be changed but, it can be challenged. Every man is born as many men and dies as a single one.” – Martin Heidegger.
May this new year brings opportunity to
and we distinguish all of the above for us to “Take actions”…and in Reality that is the only thing “taking actions” that we can do… and in this new year… it is not about our resolutions.. it is about taking actions …for demonstration of our love in relationship, elevate our performance in life, demonstrate the magnanimous of accepting others ….and more importantly “take actions overcoming what we think as limitations and barriers”…
May this new year brings enormous results and success and filled with actions…and I thank everyone who had been supporting me directly and indirectly. thank you very much. – Isac Newton
This is the true joy in life, the being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one; ………….
I want to be thoroughly used up when I die, for the harder I work the more I live. I rejoice in life for its own sake. Life is no “brief candle” for me. It is a sort of splendid torch which I have got hold of for the moment, and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible before handing it on to future generations.
We were born into a world of quiet conformity. Initially everything we do and say and think and believe have been done and said and thought and believed before. The activities we regard as worthy of our time and effort (learning, work, play), the ultimate values and meanings we pursue (achievement, love, children), and the particular styles and forms thru which we pursue these goals have all been provided by our various human cultures.
How different our lives are from the lives of ancient ‘cavemen’!
Unless we find ways to wrest control of our own lives from society, all of our decisions will continue to be made for us by the unnoticed forces of the cultures in which we live. We may not be told which spouse to ‘choose’ or which job to take, but how free are we to reject both marriage and work as basic styles of life? How have we been carried along so successfully by culture without noticing it?
‘They’ even hide the process by which ‘they’ have quietly relieved us
of the ‘burden’ of making choices for ourselves.
It remains a complete mystery who has really done the choosing.
We are carried along by the ‘nobody’, without making any real choices,
becoming ever more deeply ensnared in inauthenticity.
This process can be reversed only if we explicitly
bring ourselves back from our lostness in the ‘they’.
But this bringing-back must have that kind of being
by the neglect of which we have lost ourselves in inauthenticity.
[Martin Heidegger Being & Time, Macquarrie p. 312-313; Stambaugh p. 248; paraphrase]
It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.
—— this i came to know from Robin Sharma’s webinar….
Today I was talking to one my College mate and friend in US, We call him Madurai !!! .. What I was present in that conversation was that, deep in every one’s heart, there is longing to contribute to the society…and deep in our heart.. we are connected to the roots from we came from and we love it so much !!
In our daily life…some where it has become hidden… Today he voluntarily said that he wanted to contribute for developing sports in India… Creations are happening in these conversations, Contributions happens in these conversations, Making a difference happens in these conversations..
I take this opportunity to acknowledge him, for expressing his desire to contribute to this society and taking action to support students in SPORTS.. What I am glad is that our “Rising Champions” – Non for profit organization a platform to support students in sports is becoming a platform for enablers…!
THANK YOU MADURAI..!!!.. YOU MADE A BIG DIFFERENCE..!!… JOURNEY CONTINUES !!
Tony Robbins (One of the top executive coaches in the world), Peter Diamindis (Founder of X- Prize foundation – solving humanities grand challenges), Jay Abraham(One of top marketing coaches/marketer in the world) – what these billionaire’s talk about thier jounery …i was listening to these people audios , 3 points what I was able to get from their conversations
regarding point 1 & 3 – how it is possible ? it is easier said than accomplished, they have learnt the art of breaking the barriers within them and not the barriers in the outside world…while they reach a great level, they ensure they are able to spend quality time with the family…
what i am happy about the above… though i am not a guy with their level of reach, i am in the journey of all the above areas …!
“80% to 90% of thinking we do is excessive thinking…!!” – Eckhart Tolle – in his talk “The power of Presence”…Human beings do excessive thinking either about past or future…but not be in the present….excessive thinking takes away us from being present when we talk, see, walk and so on….
Bringing more of being in doing.. …makes us being in the present…and that dramatically alters our performance !!!
My hands sweat, heart beat goes up like anything , head aches ……………….it happens when I stand before the audience to talk …years ago…this happens after long hours of preparation, and sleepless night……this is not about my language, not about my knowledge, but it is fear inside me to stand and talk before the crowd…. after giving the speech…I used to doubt myself, whether the message reached the audience….then when I started saying “hello to my fear within me” … then the preparation time went down drastically !! , started speaking with more freedom….
even then.. I was always wondering.. how I can make people more interactive when I talk…? …till i started to say “hello to my fear of people asking questions” when I talk…
even then…I was wondering …whatever I am talking..is it touching the people and making a difference to people when I talk ? …till I got trained to say “hello to the fear of listening to the people’s opinion about me and my talk” ..
even then.. I was wondering.. am I communicating to a large crowd…till I got trained to discover..my past is constraining to say “hello to large crowd”
where is my fear..? it is still there?…yes of course it comes with me…as I said many hello to my fear…it has become a companion!!
One young executive did his schooling in a small town, and then moved to do his engineering to a city…with lot of dreams.. When he came out of the college, He wanted to start his own manufacturing plant , a big manufacturing plant..then someone said you need to gain some experience, after lot of struggle he got a job with a minimum salary, then an year went by, by that time he learnt to survive in the job, he postponed his ambition of setting up a big manufacturing plant for some more years, after 5 years he got another job with decent salary, and he got into the job he survived, and changed jobs, postponed his dream, changed jobs, survived, changed jobs survived… now he is 50 years old….
the story may sound very familiar, the key point is he never got to know what made him to postpone his dream in spite of gaining whatever he required to setup his manufacturing plant…
Immediately many may tend to give solutions to that person….and fail to look at ourselves, the sad part is we never discover our blind spots… and never give opportunity for our dreams to get fulfilled…
Here is an opportunity to live your life powerfully…and the life what you want…
I just wanted a new future for myself and for the people around me…
I was thinking… I am creating a new future…atleast in my heads.!!
every aspect of my new future … I want to become like this, like that, like someone….like this big, like that small……everything I created…is based on my (past) experience, people with whom I am associated (past), a role model (past learning)… ..just listed down…everything I created is based on my past….
My future is only a copy of my past !!…
the sad part is … I was not realizing how much the past is constraining my future moment by moment…
Consider…if I and you can delink the past and the future…and what will be left in future..?!!!
One thing I am clear, the past will not put constraints… that is leading new level of performance…
If you would like to know more… here is an opportunity…
What is Transformative Learning ?
“. . . an individual becomes aware of holding a limiting or distorted view. If the individual critically examines this view, opens herself to alternatives, and consequently changes the way she sees things, she has transformed some part of how she makes meaning out of the world. ” (Reference: http://www.uco.edu/academic-affairs/cettl/tlguidefiles/2012-03-tl.pdf )
This idea of a fundamental change in perspective or frame of reference is at the heart of transformative learning. When someone undergoes such a change, the way a person deals a certain aspect of life such as in relationship, money, leading a team, managing, etc., undergoes a drastic change…which allows the person to produce different kinds of results…
For example, I was having a view about myself as “I am not smart in solving complex problems” , as long as I was having this view, I always tend to work very hard, which had a huge impact on my performance of solving the problems…..when I discovered that it is only a limiting view I am holding about myself …and dropped the limiting view of I am not smart…. new possibilities emerged….
the challenges is in discovery of the limiting view that we are holding and dropping the limiting view…!
“Declaration” is the process of creating a new future…!!.. the following is the gist of the research article and from one of the top executives languages in the world.
How to make a declaration ? …. Declaration is through “language”. Our words are very powerful…but we are unconscious about the words we speak, however by conscious words of our spoken language, we can create the future… Put down in a paper the future we want to live in words and every day morning read out the words loudly with consciousness about the future we want to create…by reading the words on a daily basis, the language we speak shapes the brain and allows us to take new actions…and new actions produce new results !!
to summarize: 3 steps to create the future we want in our life ..!
Think about the future we want to live –> write down in a piece of paper –> Read the words on a daily basis consciously.
Research articles and videos:
“Trying to change the past is pointless” – Nancy Zapolski. I was listening to one of the audio’s of Nancy Zapolski while driving the car today. Today It hit on my head like anything…Men I was trying to look the mistakes I made in the past (such as I did not complete a task on time with quality)…. and trying to cover myself, change myself and show myself as if whatever I did was correct…and in the process I was making others wrong…the whole process continues….
In the whole process…I have lost time for learning..having a great relationship, having fun, being authentic, being carefree, the whole energy is gone, health gone……what for????…..Oh God… What is this design of human beings…. to get stuck in the past and carry the past all along in the future ?!…How long this pointless game is to continue !?
“Trying to change the past is pointless”…just at that moment when I was present to past is meaningless…past vanishes right away in front of my eyes…and the whole burden on myself is gone…. and my power got restored, and I have become light…so what…?! Power is restored within myself and I am left with whole new set of possibilities ……………!!!
Since then the genesis of “Rising Champions” my life is not the same…met so many people, got to know the world, got to know the immense potential people has….In the past one year my life is ever expanding starting a not for profit organization, becoming an introduction leader and taking a stand for other people…just that it is an ever expanding life…looking back…one of my dream and value of contributing to the society is getting fulfilled…Landmark education is one of the primary catalyst to realize my dream, and my friends and colleagues…who are supporters, listeners and observers…
Some of you may want to contribute to Rising Champions in some way…you can introduce an organization, you can execute the plan of supporting the students, you can be brand ambassador, you can be a coach….and your life can expand like anything. You are invited to contribute in someway you like…
Life is ever expanding…
Recently “Rising Champions” a not for profit organization members visited a boxing coach in Villivakkam coaching around 70 students mostly economically underprivileged and surprisingly many of them are state level medal winners, an awesome experience of discipline and achievement..! .
Yesterday, 02Jun2015, is the day of “Rising Champions” …the registration process got formally completed. We the founders of “Rising Champions” are really proud to make a difference in supporting the students in realizing their sports dreams and contribute to the nation.
Behind this first step there are so many great souls who are our source of inspiration. Taking this opportunity to thank everyone who are committed to expand our life and others life.
if we have the ability to get things done of what we want, but in way what others want ?
It may look weird….how I can make others do what I want in a way what others want..?
Can I really understand others what others want? ….It looks like but I am not sure if we can really understand what others want…
But there is a pathway…to make my want as others want ..!!
How do I do that?…If I can do that…Who am I will be ? what I can accomplish..!
…………Revealing the answer…!
the biggest challenge I ever faced..is confronting myself, confronting the view of myself, and to be authentic about myself…and this is the discovery I made from Landmark forum…
Yes…when I confronted…It was a struggle…and the struggle led to freedom…!
Since the great come back of iPod, Apple keeps silently builds eco system and that eco system is never easy to catch by rivals…the eco system for iPod is Apple store….What is the eco system for iPhone6….?….Is it Apple watch ?
What ecosystem we build for ourselves?…matters a lot !!
How to have an extraordinary life?…In fact I was looking for a coach to have an extra ordinary life..!.. All along I was thinking that having an extra ordinary life means..”hard working”….simply “hard working” in in office, personal, even having fun is hard working and in every aspect of life…and finally frustrated for not getting the desired results…..till I discovered ……”What made me to hardworking and why I liked certain hobbies like mountain climbing….”
When I discovered and released what made me hardworking…it is awesome and it just made more effective… and I discovered a new kind of freedom… and I am full of gratitude for the people supporting me in this journey…
3 friends have taken a step to reduce the paper cups usage…!
which can be carried in pockets…!
highly social consciousness..!
In one of the forbes article, found an interesting rule for preparing presentation…
Show the slide to some one for 5 seconds, if that someone cannot understand in 5 seconds.. then slide is not conveying the meaning…
the following link is one of the best articles I have read…
For the full article…http://www.forbes.com/sites/carminegallo/2014/06/27/how-to-pitch-a-billionaire/
Take a job which can be completed in 3 hours (Yes it should be greater than 2 hours)
Cut off yourselves from all your distractions…
Complete the job in 3 hours…
This challenge will help us to reveal..about ourselves!!!
the success is in resolving the conflict within ourselves on whether to demonstrate the Leader within or demonstrate manager within….
the successful people…know…it is in resolving towards Leadership (Act of influence than act of power)….most of the times!
Desire, wishes, prayers …all act of basically receiving…drives us to great extent to achieve something…but what if we don’t take enough steps…to achieve the goal. since it is our desire. Even if takes time, or do not take necessary steps…is anyone going to question…?
but instead of receiving if our motive is to give something…the person had to be self accountable to create something for the purpose of giving…I think that giving creates more accountability than receiving…
May be…that’s why leadership is all about developing, caring, being firm and delivering…
The fear is to project ourselves, ask the questions boldly in a forum and at times even shy take the credit for great effort…Some of us may outwardly show this fear, but some of us have this fear and still project ourselves…but what if we are doing great job and still be silent/invisible performers….and still be shy/fearful to project ourselves…!
In the world when people strive to get visibility…irrespective of whether they are capable or not?….What real leaders do? Do they exploit these silent performers? or do they really credit these silent performer..It is a great revelation what GREAT Leaders do..Jim Collins articulates in his research book “Good to Great” what really great leaders do and how they are different?
Thanks to the HBR blog, providing insights on Silent performers.. http://hbr.org/2014/05/managing-the-invisibles/ar/1?referral=00134
While I was traveling to Trichy from chennai, I purchased one way toll pass, in 3 toll gates they gave me old pass, and I have to ask them to give the corrected toll pass, recently I got the date stamped as 2011 and some anonymous vehicle number, I think people make use of this opportunity, especially when the toll is crowded and when we are in hurry,
As a leader, at least we can be careful in getting the correct tickets..!
What is your title..?…
is there any title other than the official designation ?…do we really want to carry the official title till our last breath!?
Have we recognized the title…”who are you?”…the call from within….(Oh .. I realized that I did not even notice whom I am ? )
Has someone recognized who are you?…might be…but unfortunately..they also..did not tell me…who I am..
But..faithfully.. I carry the official title till…
At the end…at least I am happy that I am trying to put my signature, beyond the official title…Do you?
The power of a human being is in expression … but how do we get more power ….
It is just an act of identifying where we are powerless and overcoming that part of inhibition to express the least that we can do on a FREQUENT BASIS
Happiness = participation in life
Participation in life = breaking our own shell
Breaking our own shell = dealing different things
Dealing different things = taking new challenges
Taking new challenges = have difference of opinion
Having difference of opinion = celebrating differences
Celebrating differences = innovations
Innovation = prosperity
Prosperity = world peace
YOU AND I ARE THE SOURCE OF THIS WORLD’s prosperity and peace !!
The majority of what you want comes from the minority of what you do
… this is from the book THE ONE THING by Gary Heller and Jay Papsan.., very interesting quote in the world where many talks about multitasking and trying to learn many things or making others to learn many things !!!